Some embarrassing moments are so traumatizing that they stick with you forever. This particular moment happened when I was eight years old and has somehow remained in my mind for over two decades. I have not told this story to anyone, so you lucky readers are the first to hear it. Ellie hadn’t even heard it until she proofread this post.
The day started out as any normal Sunday morning did, with my mother choosing my clothes. She selected a brand new, bright orange pair of dress pants. Looking back, I still have no idea why she chose those pants, but apparently that was the fashion back in the mid-’90s.
It had just rained the night before, so my mother reminded me not to get my new pants muddy. Today was picture day at Sunday School, and I guess she wanted me to look respectable. I personally was looking forward to showing off my fancy style to my eight-year-old crush, little Ms. Suzie.
It was a beautiful spring day, so our Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Hildebrandt, decided to take pictures outside. There was a hill that went up one side of the church and made a nice background for the photo. She first corralled the boys and took our group photo. As soon as the camera clicked, the boys raced up the hill and started a good game of tag. “Get off the hill so we can take the girls’ picture!” Mrs. Hildebrandt squawked.
As the other boys ran off the hill, I noticed a bush about halfway down and came up with a brilliant idea: I could just hide behind the bush during the picture. This idea was particularly good because it meant that I would have a head start once the game of tag resumed. As the girls lined up for their picture, I jumped behind the bush. The bush was slightly shorter than my waist height, so I decided to kneel down.
As I scrunched down, my right knee squished into the moist dirt and to my horror left a stain on my new bright orange pants. “Mother’s going to be mad,” I thought, “I have to try another position.” So I moved into what would now be described as the downward dog yoga position.
In this position, you keep your legs straight and lean forward so your hands touch the ground. Right as I performed the downward dog behind the bush, I heard the camera snap. “Perfect timing,” I thought. “I got out of the way just in time.”
Now that smartphones have revolutionized the photo industry, many of us can hardly remember the days of camera film. Once you took a picture, you had to haul the film over to the drugstore and have it developed. No instant gratification like we have today. “I will have your pictures hanging in the classroom next Sunday.” Mrs. Hildebrandt reported.
The following Sunday, I was super excited to see little Ms. Suzie and to see our group photographs. I joined my friends and rushed into the Sunday school classroom. We bounded through the door and gasped in horror at the girls’ picture.
It wasn’t that the girls didn’t look nice. They were all dressed in their Sunday best and formed a neat little line at the base of the hill. But about halfway up the hill was a bush, and behind the bush was a bright orange rear end sticking up in the air! “Whose backside is that?” exclaimed little Ms. Suzie.
“I don’t know,” I replied, “It could have been anyone.”
“Well why don’t we check the boys’ picture and see who was wearing bright orange pants?” someone suggested. The whole class rushed over to the boys’ picture, and there I was, proudly showing off my bright orange pants.
For the next week, I hid in my room in embarrassment. I considered changing my name, going into the witness protection program, or running away to join the circus. In the end, I decided to just hope that everybody would forget the picture and move on. Looking back, I guess everybody did but me.
Thanks for sharing your funny, cleverly-written story. You are so right about clearly remembering those embarrassments. I think the embarrassment factor rises exponentially according to how young we are. Although, I am a grandmother and still experience my share of embarrassments.
We live in a condo in the south in the winter. One day, a couple years ago, I locked the house keys in the condo. The handyman was gone, and the office was closed.
I drove over to the fire station to see if they might have tools to open it. They said they might and that they would come over.
I could have died of embarrassment when a big hook and ladder truck pulled up in our condo complex. I thought they’d drive a pickup or Jeep over and I’d be back in the house before anyone noticed. I was wrong. Is there anything that draws more attention than a huge fire truck?
This is the first time I’ve shared this story. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t even tell my husband.
Oh my! That does sound embarrassing, Barb!
Lol again!
Ahh, I actually feel bad for you. Embarrassing moments are so much MORE embarrassing when you are a kid (or a teen!) Wonder why the teacher didn’t just cut off that part of the picture? Maybe it wasn’t really that noticeable or terrible looking after all! 🙂
I wonder if she didn’t do it on purpose ?? Cause otherwise she would have seen that as she was taking the picture. Ha ha ya that was funny
If Mrs. Hildebrandt was the Sunday school teacher for the whole class why didn’t she take one picture of the whole class?
Mr.Handsome that’s funny. What did your parents say when they saw the picture?
I just happened to think – it might be really fun to share that picture with us. What do you think, Mr. Handsome?
Back in the day like the 70’s man, that was called mooning and it was really done out the car window.
A. He had his pants on. At least he didn’t pull down he pants that’s called mooning.
The only thing I could think to say after I read this was bottoms up:-) That was a good story. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with others – let’s see the picture!
My embarrassing story is more of a “dad embarrassed me” story. We were at the state fair and saw a guy I knew (and had a crush on) from county 4-H. I was maybe 16… and made the mistake of introducing him to my dad. The boy told my dad he was showing horses and dad replied “oh I used to have a horse. It drowned playing water polo.” I was HORRIFIED. I’m sure I turned several shades of red.
Oh my! Sounds horrifying for sure. But why would a horse be playing water polo?
Ellie
That’s exactly why it was so embarrassing. Dad thought he was being funny…. haha!
Oh my I couldn’t stop laughing with his story…..!!!
At a dinner with my boyfriend everything went nice and he had left a cooked cut in half of a whole jalapeño pepper on the side of his plate. At the end of eating he said do you want to eat that? So I said OK and popped it into my mouth chewed and swallowed it. While he was saying noooo….. Then it hit me and for about ten minutes I was sucking on ice, slobbering, drinking ice water, blowing my nose and saying I’ll be OK.
Oh my! That must have been terrible! You poor thing.
we definitely need to see that picture for posterior sake, i mean posterity sake, lol!!
one of my earliest embarrassing times was back in grammar school. we used to change out for our gym class in the girls bathroom. not only was it cold out, but the bathroom was freezing and too cold to undress in! our gym uniform was a white tee shirt and red shorts. being cold i decided not to take off my uniform blouse and put the tee shirt over it. no problem except i was wearing a full slip and my gym shorts underneath that. i took off my skirt and ran outside to line up and everyone started laughing! they thought i forgot my pants and was laughing at that while i was more mortified at being out in my slip! lol. i hiked it up waist high and stuffed it into my short so fast but it was too late, i was already seen
Haha good one!
Oh no, that sounds incredibly embarrassing. Hope the other kids didn’t tease you about it later.
Ellie